I really need a little more thinking time

I was driving home from my appointment at my new skin doctor, who is about 35-40 minutes away, thinking that I get so much time to think while doing this stupid drive every week. I started seeing this new doctor because I was ready to get aggressive with the treatment of my psoriasis, finally. I saw an article in a magazine about how she does this laser phototherapy on patients with psoriasis and it's been very effective. I thought....wow, no icky ointments, no more oily crap in my scalp at night that stains my pillow with my hair dye while pulling it out, no more flaking so much on my scalp that I have to wear only light colors in the winter? That sounded like quite a better option. So I called and started seeing her. It's a hassle and a half with coordinating it with my husband's schedule so he can watch the kids while I go but I was so psyched about it.
In the first initial meeting (which was not with the doctor) I was introduced to the idea of starting injections of a drug called enbrel. Class blah blah drug, can use it while pregnant, blah blah, side effects mini-blah blah. Ok, so I go home and look it up and it looks like it's not such a bad thing to try. So the plan is to start these injections once a week and get the laser done once a week.
So we're into the 3rd week of injections and laser treatments. But it's still about a 35 minute drive to and from this office once a week, which I think it a hassle and a bad thing. Well tonight, my third visit, I changed my mind. I realized that on the way to the office I spend blaring my music in my car and singing very loud (which I do not get to do normally because I'm listening to "there was a farmer who had a dog and bingo was his name-o) and pretty much zoning out. While I'm there I read my book, which is now Kathy Griffin's Official Book Club Selection that I am loving. Then, on the way home I think of all the interesting things I want to paint next. It turns out that this little pain-in-the-ass trip is helping me in more ways than one.
So, what's next? Well, the doctor told me that I need to stop my injections if I start feeling sick and I told her that I have been feeling sick the past few days but that I don't feel real bad. She said to stop. She said it's serious that I need to stop because it might effect my heart and she's seen it happen. I don't know what that means exactly and I was a little afraid to ask but I thought I could die.
I am now driving home, emotional anyway because of undisclosed reasons, and now I'm thinking about my kids growing up without a "mommy". I start bawling. Not good on a road that is known for deer playing frogger across the road. I start thinking that I need to channel this into my art somehow. So all kinds of images go through my head. Ah....I've got it. But you'll just have to wait to see the sketch.